What is my life like when it is in balance?
So, I took a little longer to answer this question. Partially because I was out of town last weekend when I would have sat down to write it and partially because, well, my life is out of balance right now and most days I am just going with the flow (flying by the seat of my pants!).
I used to be very structured and controlling every aspect of my life, every single part of it. But in this last year, God has brought all of that to a screeching halt and has taught me what it looks like to just take things one day at a time and color outside the lines a little bit. It is because of this that I knew this question would be pretty hard for me to answer because for the last year, my life has felt like a roller-coaster with a lot of loose screws that goes in and out of the dark and seems to start and stop at its own pleasure. I’m sure that sounds much worse than it actually is because the last year has been really great, but it’s been hard for me on a personal level.
But in this last year, God has brought all of that to a screeching halt and has taught me what it looks like to just take things one day at a time and color outside the lines a little bit.
When I first pulled this question from the deck I laughed, like out loud, and thought oh boy! Here goes another question that I do not even know the definition of the keyword: balance. I have seriously spent a lot of time trying to discover the meaning of this word and have gotten close to understanding it, but then the rollercoaster takes off again and I am back at square one. I know I know, I am being dramatic again, it really is not that bad. But sometimes, in moments like this, when I am asked what is my life like when it is in balance, I feel like I do not have a real clue.
I have like textbook answers. What I think the answer should be. Or what I feel like the answer could be. But I am unsure of the truth of what that looks like and honestly, I’m just going to wing it to find out.
Every time I think of this question a life wheel pops in my head. Have you ever seen one of those? It kind of looks like a pizza with equal slices cut out of it, except instead of pepperoni and jalapenos, you get an away of life qualities like; self, health and fitness, intimate relationship, family, fun & social life, career, financial, and personal development. I found one on google that I will use as a visual so you can see where my brain is going with this. The particular one I found has numbers in between the slices so you can more or less grade yourself in each area.
Well, this just got real. On a scale of 1-10, I need to decide where I fall in each of these categories and then tell you what I think it should really be like. I think I’m just going to stare at it for a little while and see what comes to me…
Okay, I got it.
Let’s go back to the definition of balance: an even distribution of weight enables someone or something to remain upright and steady. A condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions. With synonymous like stability, steadiness, footing, evenness, levelness.
When I look at the wheel I feel like you should have an even circle going all the way around and that circle, no matter if you are on level two or level ten, should be the same all the way around, and that is balance.
But then after I look at it more and think about what I just said, I feel like that sounds a little crazy. I feel like that sounds really hard. I feel like that puts unnecessary pressure on something that is already pretty hard to do without any added weight to it. And just like that, I’ve changed my mind.
Have you ever seen one of those cool looking pictures of rocks? Like really pretty and smooth ocean rocks. The kind of rocks that you can only find at the ocean that has been tossed back and forth by waves for years and are like a perfectly smooth texture. I have another visual for you if not.
When I see this picture and this depiction of balance, I get a little air in my chest and feel stronger. The wheel of life was overwhelming and made me feel incompetent and incapable of finding balance in my life. But the balancing rocks with the beautiful ocean in the background, made me feel human and alive. I chose more than one rock visual because I do not think there is one right or wrong way to find balance in one’s life and that it will look different for everyone. But I also think that is where the beauty lies and I’ll tell you what that looks like for me.
When I look at this picture and see the ocean, I think of God and the universe and all the majesty it holds. When I see the bottom rock, the rock that holds all the other rocks up, I think of Jesus and a firm foundation. When I look at the other rocks and the different shapes and sizes I see my life. I see where there are some areas that I may give less attention to or that hold less weight in my life but are important to the foundation and steadiness of the other areas of my life. I see more things and more weight on one side, but bigger and greater weight on the other, and when the rocks are stacked just right on either side, you get balance.
What I like about the rocks and the uniqueness that they all bring is that they have the ability to be shifted, moved around, and even make room for other things that may not exist yet or even let go of things that shouldn’t be there. I see the ability to be unperfect, but yet have perfect parts that fit perfectly with each other. When my eyes wander back to the ocean I think about the steadiness and calm that it beings, but then I think about the weather and how storms can come and all of this can get knocked down and take what looks like a perfectly balanced masterpiece, and it all crumble to the ground in an instance.
But then I think about the hands that created the masterpiece and I realize that even if that happens when that happens, He can take all of the pieces and slowly put them back together again. At that moment, when He does, it may look different than it did the first time and some parts might even have to go away for a while, but none of that takes away from the ability to be balanced and be beautiful and be strong. To just be enough.
So, for me, when I think about what my life is like when it is balanced, I guess I think about Jesus. I think that it looks like understanding that my life is made up of many different and important aspects and that every part of me needs attention and to be present in my life. But that also, there will be seasons and storms that cause that balance to shift or crumble and I can find peace in knowing that the God of the universe is going to put me back together again. He is going to take me in His hands and piece by piece align each part of my life exactly where it needs to go until I am in perfect balance again. He is the one where I will find stability, who gives me a firm footing, who will bring steadiness to the situations that are just completely out of my control. He is the one who will level out all the bumps and bring me back on even ground.
As long as I look to Him and build my life on His firm foundation, balance will come.
Therefore, thus says the Lord God, “Behold, I am the one who has laid as a foundation in Zion, a stone, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone, of a sure foundation: ‘Whoever believes will not be in haste. – Isaiah 28:16
Week 4’s Questions:
What would I do if I had enough time?
What do I do when I have time?
Beautiful Southern Heart
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