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Thirteen Reasons Why…and One Reason Why Not

As I am sure many of you have by now, or soon will if you have yet to discover, binge watched 13 Reasons Why. I came across an article about it and was intrigued by it, this particular subject hits home with me in more ways than one and I was curious to see how someone portrayed the topic through a mini-series.

“Thirteen Reasons Why, based on the best-selling books by Jay Asher, follows teenager Clay Jensen (Dylan Minnette) as he returns home from school to find a mysterious box with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers a group of cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker (Katherine Langford) -his classmate and crush-who tragically committed suicide two weeks earlier. On tape, Hannah unfolds an emotional audio diary, detailing the thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Through Hannah and Clay’s dual narratives, Thirteen Reasons Why weaves an intricate and heartrending story of confusion and desperation that will deeply affect viewers.” Written by Studio

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After completing 13 emotionally raw episodes as Hannah goes through the events that led up to her death, I was left with an empty feeling and an overwhelming sadness that even though this was just a television show, things like this happen every day. It happened to me. It happened to friends of mine as we were growing up. It has happened to close family and loved ones. It happens every day, all over the world and frankly is not talked about enough.

In case you choose to never read the book that inspired the series or watch it for yourself, I’ll shed some light on the “reasons” why she ultimately took her own life. (Potential spoiler alert)

She was a high school girl that was fairly popular who ended up losing all of her close friends and soon found herself feeling all alone. As a result of bullying through simple “normal” high school antics, it all struck a chord with her that left her feeling worthless. She was abused mentally, physically, and spiritually until she felt like there was nothing left of her. She even tried to seek help, but was made to feel as if she was not worth the help or that there was nothing that she could ultimately do about it, except forget it and move on. Every part of her was broken, lost, confused and she felt hopeless.

I have yet to share my story with you all and plan on doing it soon.. But, I have been there before. High school was not easy for me, as much as I was great at hiding it. I lost friends that had been in my life since kindergarten, which when you are 16 years old feels like your entire life. I was abused mentally, physically, and spiritually. I thought about suicide more times than I would like to admit and even failed at it once or twice. I got to a point in my life where there was nothing left for me and I was completely disgusted with myself and everything about who I was and what I was doing in this world.

and that’s when Jesus stepped in.

I won’t say it happened in one day or even in one moment, it was a collection of days that came to a head to make me decide to push for life, instead of death. No matter how long I had been running or how far I had run, Jesus loved me and He wanted me to live. I could have easily came up with 13 reasons why I did not want to live on this earth anymore, but it took me finding only 1 reason why I should surrender and stay, and that was Jesus.

We are not so different from Jesus in our trials and unfortunate circumstances. Jesus was blameless and yet He was still;

Betrayed

Abandoned

Rejected

Falsely accused

Mocked

Physically Abused

Spit on

Shamed

Crucified

All for us.

He loved us so much that He wanted to bear the weight of the world, the weight of sin, everything terrible thing that you and I have done, or have yet to do, or that has been done to us. He took it all so that we would be forgiven and if so choose, get to spend eternity with Him in Heaven.

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It was that truth that saved me. It is that truth that I want to save everyone with. It is that truth that has me sitting here writing to you today asking you;

Please, do not give up. Reach out for help. Even when it is hardest to think about your family and loved ones, especially in the moments when you feel like they could care less, it is not true. They care, they love you so much. He loves you so much. I do not even know you, and I love you so much. You are worth it. You have a purpose. You were chosen for something beautiful and you can only find out what that is if you stay.

For those of you who have never dealt with anything like this before, give thanks to the Lord that you have not had to experience such pain. But more than that, make sure that you are not a part of someone else’s pain. As hard as that might be to hear, everything we do or say impacts the world and those around us. It is our job to be kind to others, to love and be loved in return, to help those who need it, and simply be there for others who need someone. When someone gets to the point in their life that they are even thinking about taking their own, they will not tell you and you will not know, which is why we have to be proactive in making sure it never gets to that point.

If someone you know and love is going through a tough time, take a moment out of your day and reach out. It could possibly mean life or death. If someone you know is going through a hard time and is suddenly happy and content, reach out. Even if someone is not going through a hard time, reach out. If you are that someone, reach out.

Be there for others.

Love and be loved.

Choose Jesus.

Stay blessed,

Beautiful Southern Heart

Put Together Like Perfect Puzzle Pieces

Do you want to know what one of my most favorite things in the whole entire world is? It is watching God’s plans unfold right before my eyes, in the smallest of moments to the grandest. It is amazing to see His hand in our lives and watch Him work!

Getting to say; God did that. That was all Him. You can thank God for that. That was totally God. That had Jesus written all over it. That was an answered prayer right there! are truly some of my happiest moments and fill my heart with tremendous joy every single time that it happens. Which is often, and happens more and more every day, the closer I get to Him!

I’m not sure if I have shared this with you before, but one of my biggest struggles has been letting go and letting God. I have an overwhelming need to be in control, at all times, in every situation or I get intense anxiety or frankly just really upset that it’s not “going my way”. That is not an easy thing to admit, but it’s just a part of being human I think, and I have learned to accept it and grow from it and even slowly to relinquish that control, to Him. In doing so, I am seeing God’s hand more in more in my life, because I am stepping out of His way, finallythy-will-graphic

It is incredible what God can and will do for you if you just step out of His way and let Him be God. Being able to step aside and have something amazing happen in your life and know that it was God who did that, is the greatest feeling in the world, and it can only happen if you let Him.

There have been multiple occasions over the past couple of weeks that I have seen his perfect work come together in my life. Every time I experience something like this, I get an overwhelming sense of peace; because I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what God designed me to do, walking in perfect sync with His will just as He would have me do.

download (1)It’s like a puzzle, every time you find that piece that fits, which for me are those moments that I get to say “that was you God”, you are getting closer to finishing it and seeing the beautiful picture that has been created!

It is not always an easy thing to do and it is a choice I have to make daily, to surrender to His will and not my own. Being human, we have this need to know what is going to happen next and what the outcome is going to be before we put our foot in front of the other and take that first step. But with God, you do not know and you cannot see it, until it happens. You have to trust Him and fully rely on Him and His sovereignty, that everything He does in this world He puts together for your good. That even though you cannot see the first step you have to trust that rest of the stairs are there, through blind faith.

It sounds incredibly scary when you think about it and in your case when you read it in black and white, and it can be. But every time you do it, it gets a little bit easier and a little more exciting and a little more real until you aren’t even thinking about whether or not you trust God anymore, but instead are trying to remember to put the car on autopilot and let go of the wheel.good

I have an incredible example that I want to share with you all on this very thing. Yesterday I was the only one in our office holding down the fort because everyone else was out of town or out in the field. Normally this isn’t so bad, but we have a lot going on this week and there were many things that needed to be taken care of and made sure that ran smoothly. Needless to say, I became overwhelmed by mid-day, and by the time I was supposed to take lunch to my sister at her school, I was totally frazzled and unfortunately unable to enjoy my date with her because I was trying to calm my nerves (in a school full of teenage children, ha!).

Before I walked into her school I was sitting in my car and I took a deep breath and said “Jesus, please still my heart. Yes, steal it and still it and help me find peace in this moment”. By the time lunch was over I was much calmer, but still a little frazzled and on edge. When I got back to the office I checked the notifications on my phone to see a woman had commented on an article I wrote a couple of weeks back. She wrote and I quote, “As I was reading I felt God prompting me to tell you that as someone who has made it through your season of life, and has learned from many mistakes, we need to be intentional about making room for margin in our lives so we can have time to just be still, breathe and rest in His presence.” She wrote that at the exact moment that I prayed to God for that very thing! How cool is that?! He not only heard my prayers, but He chose to tell me through someone I do not even know, I hear you baby girl, you can find rest in my arms, just be still.

God is so good y’all. He truly finds you in the darkness and pulls you back together, if you let Him. He’s a loving God, who gave us free will, to choose Him. He is not going to force Himself upon you or force you to love Him because that’s just not nice and it’s not in his character and it’s not who He is. He is a good God, a good father and if you do not know Him, you are missing out.

Stay blessed,

Beautiful Southern Heart

 

If you could see what I see, I know you would believe

This week was rough on me.

Nothing really crazy happened to make it that way, yet I was dying every single day from not feeling completely like myself and from feeling like I had so much to do and not enough time to do it. It is crazy because I actually got to stay home three nights in a row without running around like a crazy woman going to practices and the grocery store and to bible study and trying to find the time to get my homework turned in somehow. Yet even with my surprise break that never happens, I was exhausted. Granted hormones played a part in it, but the timing had nothing to do with it.

Life was kicking my butt and all I could do was lie down and take it, which was not my finest moment.

Yesterday I was scrolling through Facebook and I saw a fellow mom talking about how crazy her life was and how inadequate she felt with all the chaos going on around her. She has six kids who range in ages from three to eighteen and they all are involved in various activities as well as go to school and of course, just kind of exist and need to be taken care of because they are unable to take care of themselves on their own. In addition to motherhood, she runs her own business (two actually) and is the wife to a husband who owns his own as well. They have a beautiful home, their kids are smart and kind and well taken care of, and you can tell that through all the crazy they are pretty happy with their lives and she is doing a great job at simply being a mom and a loving wife.

There was another post that I saw later on from a different mother who was heartbroken over people giving her a hard time over her son’s behavior, who is three, and essentially behaving like any three-year-old boy. Their words were like knives and were ultimately making her feel like she was doing something wrong as a mother. Even though her son is gorgeous and well-mannered and loved so much by her and everyone who has ever met him and is happy and healthy and being raised to love the Lord, which if you asked me, is as good as it gets! She was still made to feel less than, and it hurt.

This morning I was updating my calendar because I signed up to take snacks for my son’s tee-ball team twice this season. I then took that time to add his Easter party at school and the trip I will soon be taking out of state to see my best friend to do a little wedding planning. As I was looking at my calendar I started to get a little bit of anxiety and wondering how in the world I was ever going to be able to do it all. In addition to the items that I added to my calendar, I already had many meetings for our mission trip team scheduled, conference calls at work, baseball games, Easter, birthday parties, assignments due and barely any white space for breathing room in-between.

Right as I was driving into work this morning the song priceless came on the radio. I hadn’t heard it in a while and the lyrics popped out at me. It was God. He was opening my ears to listen because I needed to hear it and because I needed to share it with others who needed to hear it too.

Mirror, mirror, mirror on the wall. Tellin’ those lies, pointing out your flaws, this isn’t who you are.

It might be hard to hear, but let me tell you, dear. If you could see what I see, I know you would believe this isn’t who you are, there’s more to who you are.

No matter what you have heard, this is what you are worth, you are more than all the money or diamonds and the pearls. Oh, this is who you are. There’s more to who you are.

I see you dressed in white, every wrong made right. I see a rose in bloom, at the sight of you. You are irreplaceable, unmistakable, incomparable, darling you are beautiful. I see it all in you, oh so priceless.

He’s talking to you moms. God loves you so much and thinks that you are superwoman, truly. He made you to take on the world and whatever life might throw your way. He made you strong and beautiful and brave and worthy. He made you to be gentle and kind. He made you to be the safe place for your children and their bravest fighter from all that is wrong in their world. He made you smart so you could juggle a million things at once without skipping a beat. He made you resilient so you could get back up when life knocks you down. He made you fearless in the face of danger or anything that could harm the ones you love. He made you perfect, in his image. He made you.

For you formed my inward parts, you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance, in your book, was written every one of the days that were formed for me, before they ever happened. Psalm 139:13-16

You are perfect in every way. God doesn’t make mistakes, only masterpieces.

Just remember, when life gets rough and knocks you down by busy schedules, scary full calendars, or mean words from others. Dust yourself off, get back up again, and remember who you are. You are priceless.

Stay blessed,

Beautiful Southern Heart

My trip to Harmons, Jamaica

Last year, God decided He was going to shake my world up in ways that I could have never expected. In December of 2015 I answered the call to join the Jamaica Mission Team for 2016 (JAM Team)! In six short months God was going to prepare us spiritually, mentally, physically and through all of our other needs to travel to Harmons Jamaica and spend a week doing whatever it is that He asked us to do. Spreading His love through building relationships and changing lives forever (especially my own).

Over the next six months God really did a number on my heart. My relationship grew with Him in leaps and bounds and my trust and faith in Him and all that He is was greater than I had ever known, I was over the moon and ready to take on the world! But I would settle for a week in Jamaica! During those months we had to raise the money that we would need for the trip as well as donations that we would be taking with us. Including plane tickets, airport fees, passport fees (since I had never been out of the country before), trip insurance, food while we were there, things we would need to “survive” while we were, as well as the money that is used to help employee the people we would be working alongside during that week.  I honestly do not remember exactly how the money came or when it did, I just know that God provided every cent of my needs and I never had to think twice about where it would come from or if I would have enough to go. I trusted Him completely and He provided all of my needs!

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Miss Kimberly at our packing party.

As the days grew closer to us leaving, our team gathered together a few more times to square away the details and just get in some good bonding time. Then a few days before we left we took all of the donations that we had gathered over the last six months and packed them in two 50lb suite cases (twenty in total). Once this was done we were ready to go and just two short days after that we gathered at our church at four in the morning to load up and head out! We were on our way!!

As I stated before, this was my first time out of the country which was a big deal for me! It was also my first time on a plane, which was another huge deal for me! As well as my first time on a mission trip and my first time seeing the ocean! The whole entire trip was filled with first for me and I was so excited and so ready to experience them all!! Ain’t God good!

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Waiting to board the plane! I ❤ these people soooo much!
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Katie on the left, me on the right.

It is really hard to describe all of the feelings that came with this journey. But I was super glad that I was getting to share it all with my sister, Katie. Not that I was unable to go on my own, but having her there with me made it easier for sure. Plus, who wouldn’t want to experience such awesome stuff with their sister!! The plane ride wasn’t as bad as I expected, I mostly tried to ignore the fact that I was on a plane and had no way to escape to until it landed again. It was only a two-hour flight, which was awesome and coming into Jamaica was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen!  The second they opened those doors we knew we were in Jamaica, the humidity hit you in the face and you realized, this is the air that I will be breathing for the next week, Jamaican air baby!!

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First site of Jamaica!

We had a little mishap when we got to customs, because we were in a large group and because we were each bringing in 100lbs of goods that we didn’t plan on taking back home with us. But just like anything else in our lives, God took care of it for us! Instead of searching us like they were supposed to, they did a once over through each bag and sent us on our way! We were free!

It took us 3 ½ hours to get to Harmons from Mobay (Montego Bay). We had prepared ourselves for one of the worst rides of our lives going up into the mountains (from stories we had heard from other’s who had previously been on this trip), but we ended up taking the toll roads (which wasn’t so bad) until we go to the mountains and then experienced the scariest ride ever at nighttime up a mountain on the opposite side of the road going 80 miles an hour (I might be exaggerating it a little bit, but I am not too far off). Once we finally made it to the Harmony House we were greeted by the summer staff who we would be spending the next week with and unknowingly falling in love with before it was all said and done.

 

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The summer staff ❤

 

It was 9 o’clock at night and we had just spent the last sixteen hours traveling, so of course taking a picture was the way to go and unpacking all of our things to get ready for the week ahead of us! Yet none of that really mattered because as far as I was concerned, I was home!

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Straight off the bus!!

Over the next week I got to spend every moment with God, literally, from the time I woke up until I closed my eyes at night I felt like I was walking hand in hand with God and experiencing the most peaceful week that I had ever known before. I was up on the mountain with God and I never wanted to come back down! I know you are probably wondering why it’s not like that for me every day, here at home. The answer is; it is. God never ever leaves my side. But we have so many distractions here that make it hard to focus on Him like I need/want to and I have to struggle every day to keep my eyes on Him and Him alone. But, it is so worth it and I will live every day doing just that!

I’ll try to summarize the week as best as I can for you…

Day Two (first workday):

We went on a walkbout (a walk about) around the neighborhood and we got to meet Gonga!

I spent the day with the house ladies sorting through the clothes that we brought getting them ready to go into the Harmony House Store!

Then that evening we had a party at Son’s which was so much fun! I got to meet so many amazing people that day, and I cannot wait to see them again this year!

Day Three (second workday):

We built a foundation! You guys! It may sound silly to you, but this was the coolest thing ever! Literally from the ground up we put in the rocks and dirt and concrete that began the foundation of the home that someone would soon get to live in. Priceless.

On this day I saw a million different fruit trees; star wrapper, jack fruit, kens berry, tangerine, mango, avocado, (which is a pear to the U.S) and oranges (truly my favorite thing about Jamaica!)

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We did not cordinate all of the blue and green. haha

Day Four (third workday):

My sister and I got to go to the greenhouses. I spent half of the day with Maxine pruning tomato plants and just talking about life. It was amazing how much we had in common, but more amazing to see how much she loves God! She really touched my heart that day.

Later that day we went to the infirmary in Maypen. The infirmary is like a nursing home/orphanage where people go when they do not have anywhere else to go and they can’t survive on their own. It was a humbling experience, to say the least. My most favorite part was getting to meet Ms. Mary Patrick and listen to her quote entire books of the Bible without skipping a beat!

That evening we had a party at the crawl and enjoyed some relaxation in the community dancing the night away!

Day Five (fourth workday):

I got to meet the girls and get my hair braided! The entire week the rest of the team had been on their land building their new homes, and in another day we would get to dedicate them. I fell in love with this family and am blessed to still be in contact with them today! I hope I get to see them when we go back this year!

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Day Six (home dedication):

That morning we got to dedicate the completed homes to the two families that we were helping that week. It is really hard to explain what it feels like to hand the keys to a family and know that they will now have a roof over their head for years to come! It was a blessing to get to experience that and I am so thankful God allowed me to!

This was our last day in Harmons, bitter sweet for sure.

We spent the rest of the afternoon just hanging out; climbing mountains, playing soccer, getting our hair braided and nails done and some of our team even got some awesome designs cut into their hair!

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Climbing the mountain was amazing. The absolute hardest thing I have ever physically done. But so rewarding!!

That night we had one last party with the community before saying our goodbyes and getting ready to leave in the morning. Best night ever.

Day Seven (back to Mobay):

As much as any “normal” person would look forward to the part where you spend the day on the beach, it was definitely the lowlight of my week. Amazing, in every way I’m not denying that. God really showed out when He created the ocean and all things in it. It was beautiful in every way and I could have stayed there forever, but it was nothing compared to the six days before in the mountains with Jesus.

That night we had one last hoorah with the team (and the team that was with us there all week from North Carolina…too much to tell about them all…but so much love and such great memories!!) The next morning we made our way back home.


Going to Harmons, Jamaica was truly one of the greatest experiences I have ever had. It is insanely crazy to think that it is just the beginning for what God has in store for me! It wasn’t just the seven days that I was gone either, but everything leading up to it and even the lessons I had to learn once I came home. Coming home was much harder than I expected it to be, coming back to the reality that we live in and hating the way that the world is, it was hard. It is still hard. But I am thankful to have a different perspective on life and the world and all the things in it.

I have so much more to learn and experience, I know that. But this experience will be one I never forget. We are going back to Harmons this summer with a different team and I am so stinking excited and grateful that God has called me to go again! I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I am and how much I cannot wait to see everyone there!! God really showed up big last year, I can’t even fathom what He is going to do for us this year!! Keep me in your prayers, and my team that is going. We will definitely need each and everyone one of them. Thank you for taking the time to read this all the way through to the end. If you every really want to hear the details, I would be glad to share them with you! Plus I have more pictures 😉

Stay blessed,

Beautiful Southern Heart

 

p.s. The organization that we partner with on this trip is Won by One – check them out!

If you want to help donate for this year’s trip you can do so here (or click on the picture on my sidebar)

I want to go back

I want to go back to the basics. I want to be like a child again. I want to live in a world where this is the same for everyone. Through the way that we act and the way that we treat each other and the way that we see others, the world, and Jesus.

We teach our children to act this way, we teach our children to follow these rules, we teach our children to believe in these things, yet somehow we do not expect the same from ourselves. In simple things like;

Please
Thank you
No Thank you
Yes ma’am
Yes sir
No ma’am
No sir
You’re welcome
May I
Excuse me
I’m sorry
Forgive me
I forgive you
Treating other’s as you wish to be treated
Respect your elders
Listening to understand, not to respond
Waiting to talk and not interrupting others
Asking permission when the person, place, or thing is not yours
Being kind by thinking before you speak
If you do not have anything nice to say, then you probably should not say it all
Acknowledging someone in your presence
Knocking before you enter
Opening the door for others
Waving back at someone who waves at you
Returning a smile
Offering to help, even when it’s not needed
Using language that is pleasing to God, essentially anything that is good and anything that is true
Not calling people names, even if you think it is “just a joke”
Giving someone your full attention, even if you are bored and uninterested (in any given situation)

The list undoubtedly goes on and I would have let it, but hopefully something in that list struck a chord with you and made you think twice about how often you do that in your own life, or if you do at all. The answer should be always, every day, at every opportunity and I know for a lot of you, it is not.

This goes far beyond just face to face interaction, but as adults this can mean on the phone with a bill collector or someone from your job, at the store while you are shopping and passing people down the aisle, in your car driving down the road as you let someone onto the road or take turns in a parking lot without having to be the “most important person on the road”.

Taking the time to remember someone’s birthday, and calling them or texting them to tell them so (instead of simply allowing Facebook to do it for you).

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praise worthy — think about these things. Phillipians 4:8

All of these things seem may seem trivial, yet have such a profound impact on our world and the way that it is today and what it will be like in the future. You truly can help make the world a better place by doing any one of those things, every day. Imagine if you did them all, without question or a second thought. Imagine what the world would be like. Imagine what your world would be like.

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Not only are we setting good examples for others around us, but the most important of all is the children who watch us and mimic our actions. What kind of example are you setting? How are your actions changing the world?

There’s more.

God expects us to act this way. Matthew 18:2-6 Jesus called a little child to him, and placed the child among them and said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, and whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

Jesus is not calling us to be perfect. He is just calling us to be kind, honorable, loving, and to treat each other with respect. That is why my children teach me the most about God, because they allow me to see myself through His eyes, through theirs.

My friend sent me a song yesterday that really summed this all up for me and was exactly what I have been feeling for quite some time now. Listen to it.

“I wanna go back to Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. I wanna go back to this little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine. I want to go back to yes, Jesus loves me.”

I want to go back to blind faith, as small as a mustard seed, yet big enough to move a mountain. I want to go back to pure joy, for no reason. I want to go back to being enamored by the stars and thinking my daddy hung the moon. I want to go back to smelling every rose. I want to go back to jumping in puddles and watching the clouds for hours. I want to go back to singing random songs I just made up and dancing to the music in my head. I want to go back to walking around in circles in my front yard and talking to God. I want to go back to never knowing a stranger. I want to go back to thinking I could save the world, with just one hug, and then trying to. I want to go back to the basics. I want to go back to being like a child.

Stay Blessed,

Beautiful Southern Heart

Baseball Season, the most wonderful time of the year

It’s spring time! You know what that means?! Baseball Season!! The most wonderful time of the year; when you are a baseball mom of course! For all you moms out there that are starting your first week of practices or already got a game or two under your belt, this is for you.

I am a second-year veteran tee-ball mom. I know you 10 – 12 moms are rolling your eyes right now because two years is nothing compared to the 5+ that you have under your belt. But before I was a tee-ball mom, I was a baseball and softball aunt. I did my fair share of running kids to practices multiple days a week and running between two games that are at the same time (sometimes in completely different locations) trying to cheer for both kids, staying as long as you can until one bats and then run back as fast as you can to the other game before the other one is on deck.

Baseball season can be grueling y’all.

Game on Monday, practice on Tuesday, church on Wednesday, game on Thursday, practice on Friday, Tournament on the weekend, all weekend.

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You can forget about eating decent meals for the next three months (six if you make it to all-stars). Concession stand foods, take-out, sandwiches in the car or frozen meals in the microwave/oven minutes before it is time to hit the hay and do it all over again.

Let us not forget about uniforms. What are your team colors this year? Black and some other dark color, like royal blue or forest green? We got gray this year which is the ugly first cousin to white, which means that we will be washing those bad boys every day. Do not even get me started on white and the stains…oh, the stains…you might as well get you two or three pairs if you want to make it through the season.

Oh yeah word to the wise, all the other moms out there hate you this year. Keep that in mind when you get a crazy look from another mom right after a game that both of your kids just played in. You didn’t do anything wrong, she’s just thinking about how she is going to stay up all night making sure she gets the fresh grass stains our of what started out as pearly white pants (for the umpteenth time) while you get to go home and pop yours in the washer without a second thought and then go straight to bed, it’s not personal, but you suck.

It is super fun if you have children who are not even playing that year. Oh, you forgot you had other children? Yeah, the ones that you have to try to entertain and keep an eye on while simultaneously cheering on the one in the game. The one who is constantly asking you for one more dollar because the snow cone man is there. Sure, you feel lucky when they have other friends at the game that they can play with and thus be entertained without your help. Except, when you look up and notice how filthy they are because they just spent the last thirty minutes rolling down a dirt hill (that last inning was too intense to look away from, I know). Doesn’t make it suck any less when you are forced to give them a bath before they go to bed.

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You have to give it to them, though. They are either not old enough to play yet or completely uninterested in doing so, but still tag along to every game excited as can be and usually without much trouble, eat crap for dinner for three months, getting less sleep at night, doing homework in a camping chair, lugging around chairs and bags and snacks for the team or simply sitting outside for hours on end in the blistering heat without any other choice and deciding to make the most of it. Well-deserved recognition for their efforts I’d say, be sure to thank them for it the next time you see them.

But somehow, through all the insanity, it truly is a wonderful time of the year.

There is nothing in the world like it. I know, it is little league baseball. But it is so dang exciting and so much fun to watch. The tee-ball years are the best and comical, to say the least. Digging holes in the outfield, chasing each other around to get the ball, dancing to the music in their head, trying to catch the pretty butterfly, hey look, mom, a plane! Then they move up to coach pitch and you really get to see their talents unfold, they are starting to get the hang of just how the game works, and by this time you are pretty clear on the type of player they will be in years to come and exactly what they need to work on in the off season to impress their coaches next year.

Once they move into kid pitch they have become “pros”, truly, experts on the way a season goes. Ready for their practices, the many different coaching styles, which players to look out for on other teams, what to expect day to day in the months to come, and when they play they come ready for whatever position they excel in most ready to hit the ball out of the park (because it’s going to happen this year).

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Each year really does get a little bit sweeter and a little more exciting and a little closer to them growing up and playing in the “big leagues”.

There is nothing quite like being a baseball mom. It takes a lot of talent, yes talent, to get through the season with your sanity still intact. You are the chauffeur. The dry cleaner. The fast food girl. The teacher. The scorekeeper. The team mom. The friend. Heck, sometimes even the doctor. But most important you are their biggest fan, they know it, and they love you for it. When the season is over, a party is definitely needed to celebrate being alive and getting your life back. But you are also sad because you know there will be seven months separating you from the next game, the next practice, the next all weekend baseball tourney and all the crazy in between…and you will miss it.

Baseball really is the best time of the year, if you are a fellow baseball mom you know what I am talking about. Good luck, I’ll see you out there. Let’s play ball!

Stay Blessed,

Beautiful Southern Heart

Important Choices

Lately, I have watched people suffer for reasons that ultimately could have been prevented. Not just lately, this has been happening for forever but lately, it’s been bothering me more and more and I want to talk about it.

I will start off by saying, I am well aware that there are things in our lives that we have absolutely no control over and in those moments, the following does not apply. But in the grand scheme of things and as we go through life day to day, the things that happen to us are a result of the choices that we make. Simply put; we have control over our lives and what happens to us and whether or not we are happy or sad, healthy or unhealthy, rich or poor, kind or not.

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Each morning when you wake up you have to make the choice whether to stay in bed or get out of it. For those with jobs, staying in bed could mean missing work and potentially losing your job. The same as choosing to get out of bed would mean that you do go to work and in return keep your job. For those without jobs, staying in bed could mean that you continue to not have a job and suffer the consequences that come with that, whatever it may be. Choosing to get out of bed could mean countless opportunities of productiveness depending on what you choose to or not to do with your time. No matter how you look at it, your end result is defined by a choice that you made.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s move it up a notch. Making choices applies to everything we do in life. Yes, everything. In addition to making choices, there is a need to take responsibility for the choices that you make. Responsibility? What’s that I say?

The state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something

You heard it here folks. When you make a choice, no matter what that choice is, no matter how great it is or how bad that it is, you are responsible for it. You are responsible for whatever ripples from that choice. i.e. the example given above when choosing not get out of bed when you have a job and you then lose said job, it’s your fault. Just as, if you chose to get out of bed even when you do not have a job and that choice leads to the finding of a new job or a clean house or whatever it is that you decide to do, it’s also your fault.

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Now you are wondering; what’s the point, where I am going with this? The point is that we need to do a better job at taking responsibility for our choices. By doing this that means that you accept the repercussions of your actions, no matter if they are good or if they are bad. In doing so, a lot more foolery would end, because 99% of the time a person does not want to take responsibility for their actions when it gets them in trouble, hurts them, hurts someone else, or ultimately causes harm and not good. Which means, if you took responsibility for your actions 100% of the time, you are a lot less likely to make bad choices.

There’s more.

You are not responsible for someone else’s actions.

This one is undoubtedly the harder one for most people, I believe. For some insane reason, people want to blame themselves or take responsibility for someone else’s actions. Which is crazy, because you cannot. But still, people try and in doing so tire themselves and wonder why good does not come from it, and the reality is; it just does not work that way. Sure, you “can” take responsibility and you can suffer the consequences of their choices, but why would you want to, especially if in doing so causes you harm?

Which brings me to my next point.

You do not owe anyone anything in this life. I am so serious, nothing.

Do not get me wrong again here. Out of love and respect and the desire to make others happy, we want to give what is given to us in return (the good anyhow). But you are not obligated to and there is not some unwritten rule, or written for that matter, that says that you have to keep someone in your life simply because they have been a part of it and have “done something” to deserve it.

Yet again, I tell you truth. If someone is doing more harm than good in your life. You do not have to let them stay there. It does not matter if that person is your mom or dad, your sister or brother, grandmother or grandfather, aunt or uncle, boss or co-worker, or even your best friend. You have the right to choose to have a better life, even if that means one where that person is not in it.

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I get it, making a choice like that is hard. Like really hard. I have been there before and had to make that choice and it was not fun and it really has been hard to live with at times. Not from regret, but because I do not wish for anyone to not be a part of my life, especially family. But sometimes, for the sake of your own well-being and your children’s, if you have them; you have to make hard choices. It is necessary, and in the end, you will be so much better off for it.

Picture it like this; your life is a garden of flowers and everyone in your life (or garden) is a beautiful unique flower. But, just like in any garden, there are weeds that can and will grow. You have to make sure to weed out the bad so that ultimately your garden as a whole will not die, but also by doing so you make way for all of the good flowers and have space for more to grow. Meaning, you have to take care of yourself and weed out the bad people and things in your life so that your life will be beautiful and full of good things and good people. By doing so, you make way for more beautiful things to grow and good people to come into your life.

Life is hard, I know. I live here too. But it does not have to be so bad and you truly do have the power to change it for yourself and those around you. It all starts with the choices that you make and your ability to take responsibility for them. Once you understand that, you are golden, and it is only up from here.

Stay Blessed,

Beautiful Southern Heart

What a Beautiful Name

March Sixteenth Twenty Seventeen. I love this day, every year. I realize to most this day is just the sixteenth day of March. The seventy-fifth day in the year, seventy-sixth on a leap year. A normal day, this year a Thursday, probably someone’s birthday, but in general it is just March Sixteenth.

To me, it is so much more.

It is a reminder of something so beautiful, it is a reminder of love, it is a reminder of hope and peace and grace and all things good. It is a reminder that God, sent His son Jesus to earth to die for our sins and save me and anyone else who believes in him, from eternal death, and instead, gives eternal life with Him. Forever.

John 3:16

For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only son so that anyone who believes in Him should never perish and have eternal life.

The greatest love story every written and that there ever was, and He did it for you.

You didn’t want heaven without us, so Jesus you brought heaven down. My sin was great, but your love was greater and nothing can ever separate us now. – What a Beautiful Name

 

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My heart swells every time I hear that name, the name of Jesus. Mere words cannot express the love and adoration I have for Him. How much He has changed my life and just how much He loves me, and you.

I know that you don’t understand the fullness of my love, how I died upon the cross for your sins. And I know that you don’t realize how much that I gave you, but I promise, I would do it all again. – Love Song

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Death could not hold Him, the veil was torn before Him and uncovered for our sins. Nothing can separate us from Him or from every being with Him. Neither death or life, angels or demons, the present or the future, or any powers in between, can keep us from his love. Romans 8:38

If you do not know His love, you are missing out. It is yours for the taking and it is such a beautiful thing.

Thank you, Jesus.

Thank you so much.

Stay blessed,

Beautiful Southern Heart

via Daily Prompt: Massive

Through the Storm

Things have been a little crazy for me lately. There are so many things I wish I could just pour out to you all and get off my chest, but I know that I cannot, because it is not mine to tell. But it is weighing on me and normally the light at the end of the tunnel would have appeared by now. Normally the break in the clouds where there is just a tiny glimmer of the sun would be present. By this time, even though it is still gloomy and cold, a rainbow would appear signaling that it is over and we can come out now. But it has not happened, and I am starting to feel like it never will.

I celebrated my birthday this past weekend, the whole weekend. It was great! On Friday I went to an eat, paint, drink party with ten lovely women who I am so insanely blessed to know and call my friends. I actually had to point out to them how lucky I am that I can say that. I know 10 people who love me, not just love me, but like me and want to spend time with me. Each one of them has been in my life for either all of it or a significant amount of time where I feel like I am winning because they are still here and most likely will not be going anywhere anytime soon or they probably would have already.

Saturday I drove to Dallas with my family and we went to the aquarium and then later attended a Mavericks game, it was pretty sweet too. The simple blessings of being able to make memories with them doing something none of us had ever done before and enjoying being around each other. We came home Sunday, my actual birthday, and I spent the entire day being lazy. That night my brother and his girlfriend came over, along with my mother and my sister, and we just hung out and spent time with each other (which we do not often do anymore).

I received a bunch of amazing gifts from my friends and my boss. Which all were a reflection of who I am and what I love most, which was really special and I am so thankful for. Yet, even after all of that amazing wonderfulness that I experienced and that I received, I was singed with sadness. A sadness that I have absolutely no control over and I wish I could make go away, but right now it is just not going to, and I am afraid to find out how long it is going to take before it does.

For all of you, that know me personally do not freak out. I am fine and I will be because I got Jesus and you know this. But I am struggling with what to do next, where to go from here and how to keep my spirits up in the meantime. If I did not have Jesus I honestly do not know what I would do. Thank God, for Him. Every time I turn around and something little should crush me, God shows up and shows out and says NOT TODAY! Keep your head up baby girl. We are going to get through this. Just trust me and keep your eyes on me and all will be well.

I was on the way to work this morning jamming out to KVNE and listening to the morning show. A lady called in to request a song and before she said goodbye they asked if they could pray for her, she said yes, and they did. Right there on the spot before they played the next song, which was Praise You in the Storm, by Casting Crowns. I cried and lifted my hands and praised him through my storm, all the way to work.

God is good y’all.

Stay Blessed,

Beautiful Southern Heart

Dear Women, this is for you

Today is International Women’s Day 2017. I am going to be honest with you I did not even know this day was a day, until today. But because it is and women everywhere are longing to feel appreciated, I just wanted to share some gems with you, to show you that you are and it should not take a day in March to show you that.

Every day that I am alive I feel special, I feel wanted, and I feel loved. Simply because I am a daughter of the One True King and He has chosen me to be His, for all eternity, and He has chosen you too.  I know this because;

I am a child of God.

As a child of God, I am a fellow heir with Christ.

I have been accepted by Christ.

I have been called to be a Saint.

I am chosen, holy, and blameless before God.

I am no long a slave, but a child and heir.

I have been predestined by God to obtain an inheritance.

God loves me and has chosen me.

It is because of those things that I rejoice, daily. No matter what is going on in my life, where I am, what someone said to me, what someone has done to me, what I have done, or what I am going to do, Jesus loves me. Today, yesterday and forever! I am His daughter, His beloved, and am more precious to Him than a pearl. Nothing can beat that, ever.

Because God loves me so much and because I am His, I want to live my life in a way that honors Him and brings glory to His name! Which is why I strive daily to be a woman of virtue.

Proverbs 31: 10-31

Who can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies and pearls? The heart of her husband safely trusts in her and will have no lack of gain. She comforts him and encourages him and will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool, and flax, and works willingly with her hands in delight. She is like a merchants ship, abounding with treasures, where she brings food from far away.

She comforts him and encourages him and will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

She rises while it is night and gives meat to her house and portions to her maids. She considers a field before she buys it, then with the fruit of the profits she plants a vineyard with her hands. She equips herself with strength and she makes her arms strong. She sees that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out but burns continuously through the night (prepared for whatever lies ahead). She lays her hands to the spindle and her hands to hold the distaff. A woman's hand is touching the crop in  a field

 

She opens and extends her hands to the poor, and she reaches out to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow, for her household is clothed in warm wool. She makes herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is linen, pure and fine, and purple. Her husband is known in the city gates and sits with the elders of the land. She makes fine linens to sell and delivers it to merchants.

shelaughsStrength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure, she smiles at the future knowing that she and her family are prepared. She opens her mouth in wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to how things go in her household and does not stay idle. Her children rise up and call her blessed, and her husband praises her saying, “Many daughters have done nobly, and well, but you exceed them all!” Charm and grace are deceptive and beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised! Give her the products of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates of the city!

 

A virtuous woman encompasses;

  • Faith
  • Marriage
  • Mothering
  • Health
  • Service
  • Finances
  • Industry
  • Homemaking
  • Time
  • Beauty

The Bible is full of many great women that can teach you so much about God, who He is, and what He can and will do for YOU if you let him! Check them out;

Mary of Nazareth: Mother of Jesus – (Luke, John  & Acts)

Ruth – The book of Ruth

Esther – The book of Esther

Eve – Genesis

Elizabeth: Mother of John the Baptist – (John & Matthew)

Rachel – Genesis

Hagar: An Abused Woman – (The Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke & John)

Mary Magdalene – (The Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke & John)

Martha: Mary’s Sister – (The Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke & John)

Rebekah: Isaac’s Wife – Genesis

I do not know where you are today or what your life is like or how you feel about yourself or how you think others feel about you. But I do know this; there is a man that wants so badly to love you and you love Him back and give you the world if you would just accept Him and allow Him to; His name is Jesus. He can take away all of your pain, all of your tears, and give you healing, hope, joy, and a love like you have never known before! My hope is found in Him. My worth is found in Him. All that I am and ever want to be comes from Him. I love Him so!

Today is International Women’s Day for the world, but every day is women’s day when you belong to Jesus!

You are beautiful.

You are worthy.

Stay blessed,

Beautiful Southern Heart